Worst Nightmare
by RubysArms
Summary: Will woke up trembling, assuring himself what he just dreamt wasn't real. It couldn't be real, nothing bad could happen to Karen...right? R&R btw i changed my penname!
1. The Nightmare

"I, I am so sorry Will, it's just, it's just over now," said the scarily calm person on the other end, "What's over!? Karen talk to me! Don't hang up all right? I'll, be RIGHT over okay? Please don't hang up," said Will, putting his coat on frantically.

Grace walked through the door, "Hey Will. What's wrong?" she said innocently. Will ignored her and continued to head for the door, "Karen are you still there?" Grace looked at him confused, since he and Karen didn't get along usually. "Yeah honey, but, I won't be soon." Upon hearing those words he darted for the elevator, it opened right away and Grace jumped in after him, "What's going on is she okay?" Grace asked, "I'm on my way over Karen," said Will.

There was a silence, one that scared Will beyond comprehension and then he heard the worst, a gunshot. He heard the phone drop to the ground on the other line and he dropped his own phone and fell to the elevator floor and screamed.

Will woke up in his bed sweating, and teary eyed. He had to assure himself what had just happened was all a dream. But it was SO realistic, so sensible. His hands were shaking. Was this a…premonition of something that was GOING to happen? God he hoped not. He knew Karen and him had never seen eye to eye but he cared about her tons, (more than she knew) and he couldn't imagine what he'd do if he lost her, especially that way.

He didn't want to tell Grace about what he had just dreamt, but he couldn't bear the allay of the room, so he crept across the hall into Grace's bedroom. He creaked the door open quietly and climbed under the sheets next to his sleeping friend.

"Gracie," he whispered. She tossed over, "Mmm," she moaned. "Will?" she questioned. "Bad dream?" she said. "Yeah, I'm gunna stay in here with you tonight," Grace reached over and put her arm around him and they fell asleep.

Will loved those moments, when Grace held him, and asked no questions. Those moments were rare but they never lost their affect. If he were there under any other circumstances he might embrace the moment, but the nightmare was too much to get past, he still felt completely sick to his stomach.

What was he going to do about it though? He knew, he'd try to talk to Karen, check in on her, and make sure she was all right. If there was any sign of her not being normal, he'd talk her through it…he didn't know what else to do. He was extremely concerned, but soon he was drifting off to sleep, while holding onto Grace's skinny arms tight.

Will came into Grace's office as soon as he could. "Where's Karen?" were the first words out of his mouth as he entered. "Um, lunch break? Why?" Asked Grace, not looking up from her sketch. "Oh, just wondering," he said not very convincingly, but Grace was too preoccupied in her work to notice.

He sat there ten minutes and finally Karen came strolling in, "Hey Grace, Wilma." She said, then began to start humming a song. "Hey, Karen," said Will coming over to her desk. She sat down and looked up at him. "What?" she asked surprised. He didn't know what made him do it, but he bent down and gave her a huge hug and kissed the side of her face, "I love you Karen, I'm always here for you,"

Karen looked at him after he let go, she looked like she was about to cry, but realized Grace was in the room, and she recovered with, "What's your problem Mary?"


	2. The Reality

"Oh, um nothing," said Will, remembering they didn't get along so splendid.

Later that night Will was still plagued with feelings of guilt for what he dreamt. He knew it was probably just a dream, after all, he dreamt of the Baldwin Brothers all of the time and nothing ever came of that.

There was something different about those dreams though, they didn't feel so realistic, they weren't in such detail that he had to convince himself weren't true.

He found himself ay Karen's doorstep, it was raining outside pretty hard so no one heard him knocking on the door and since he couldn't stand waiting outside he let himself in.

He took off his coat and shoes and went up the stairs and made a left into Karen's bedroom. Nothing. Then he continued down the hallway, until he made it to Karen's room, he knew Stan was away on business so he just pushed it open gently and there was Karen, lying on the floor in tears.

"Karen?" he asked timidly. Karen immediately looked up and wiped her tears away, "Will! What the hell are you doing here?" She said trying to appear angry, to cover the fact she had been sobbing before being rudely interrupted.

Will didn't answer but he went to her side on the carpet in front of the fireplace. He held her little hands and she tried to pull away but he grasped tighter and she gave in. "Sweetie what's the matter?" he asked as if he were talking to Grace. He and Karen had never had emotional conversations, or related to each other, but now it was different, it was like this wasn't Karen at all, it was like, another version of her.

Will didn't know how to explain it but Karen seemed so open and naked and vulnerable and Will just wanted to tell her, that it was okay and that he cared about her and would never dream of hurting her.

"What's the matter?" He asked finally. Karen came to her senses and jumped up, "Will, please leave," she said trying to remain calm. "Karen please talk to me, I know something's been bothering you and I just want to help please let me in," he pleaded and he could tell Karen was resisting with all her might, but she toughened up and yelled, "GET OUT!"

He walked out of the room, and shut the door behind him, and he heard Karen scream and it sounded like she knocked something over. Why was she so angry? Why was she crying? Will wanted to stay with her but he knew Karen wouldn't let him, he knew that it wasn't all going to happen in one night, it took time to see the real Karen Walker, time he was willing to give.

Will came in to Grace's office for lunch, a little less frantically than last time since he had some reassurance that his "premonition" wasn't going to occur for a bit.

"Hey Gracie, you ready to go out to lunch?" he asked. Karen was at her desk drinking from her martini, looking at him, pleading with her eyes not to mention anything about the night before to Grace.

He could tell Karen didn't get much sleep, and he hoped she didn't think he was going to tell every one that he saw the powerful Karen Walker crying.

"Ugh Will I'm so sorry I'm going to have to cancel," she said gathering lots of papers, "I have a lunch meeting with a new client and I am," she glanced at her watch, "Oh god ten minutes late," She walked by and kissed Will briefly on the side of the mouth and bustled out. Will then comprehended he and Karen were once again alone and he could feel she was nervous.

He glanced over and the beautiful woman who was rapidly filing her nails. He walked over smoothly to the side of her desk and crouched down and set his chin on her desk.

"Karen, I know you don't like to show your emotions and I know you have a lot of things just, just burning inside of you. I just want you to know, I'm here, I'll always be here for you, because although I don't show it often, and you might not know it but I do care about you Karen, and I worry about you. When people box in their emotions they just build up and I don't want you to do anything to harm yourself because we all need you, Jack needs you Grace needs you, and we all love you so much." Will looked up; the woman was still filing her nails but the speed diminished and there were tears gracing her face.

Will reached over and kissed Karen's cheek and got up to leave. "Will?" she called after him, he turned back. "Thank you," she said. Will smiled and walked out, but looked back one more time to look at the woman he just realized meant so much to him.

Was this enough though? Was that enough to stop his dream from becoming reality? Dream, ha it was a nightmare. He had thought of what he was going to say to Karen all night long, and he felt that he couldn't have said it better than he did; he hoped Karen took it to heart.

Later that night Will was in the kitchen cooking, Grace was doing dishes (which was a first.) They were singing along to Grease tunes, "I've got chills! Their multiplyin," then the phone rang. They screened it and it went to the answering machine, "It's Will and Grace, WILL you GRACE us with your message?" Will glared at Grace for once again changing the machine.

Then a voice came over the speaker, "Um, kids are you home? It's, it's Karen, I just wanted to, to talk to Will-I," Will reached over, "Karen?" he asked, Grace walked over looking a little confused, Karen sounded a little worried. "Karen?" he asked again, "Hi," said her voice from the other end; it had to be her voice, no one else in the world sounded like that.

"Hey what's up?" he asked immediately. "Um, I, I don't know I just wanted to talk to you I think," she said sounding confused. "You want me to come over?" said Will setting down his spoon. Grace picked it up and licked it and he slapped her hand. "Um, no it's alright I um, never mind Wilma," there was a brief pause. "I'll be right over," he said and hung up.

He walked over and grabbed his keys, "Grace I'm going to Karen's," he said hoping Grace wouldn't ask for details since he really couldn't explain. "Is she alright?" Grace asked, trying not to meddle, but meddled anyways since she was worried for her friends.

"Don't worry Gracie, it's just some legal things, I'll be home later," Grace walked over and kissed Will, she normally wouldn't make such an effort to say goodbye to her friend, but she sensed it was more than legal work.

Will got to Karen's house, he shook off his foot since he stumbled into a puddle on the way there and his shoe was muddy. He bent down to wipe it off and the door opened, from his view all he saw was a silk robe and slippers and porcelain legs, it was Karen.

WELL THATS MY SECOND CHAPTER, NOT SURE IF I LIKE IT, BUT HOPE YOU GUYS DO!

THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS, I WASN'T SURE IF I WAS GOING TO CONTINUE BUT SEEING THEM INSPIRED ME, LOL


	3. Getting Through

"Hey Will, you didn't have to come," said Karen uncertainly, "I know," said Will. Karen moved aside and gestured Will in.

"So what's the matter?" said Will as they walked out onto the balcony which was over looking the city, Will took in the beauty for a moment, and then he took in Karen who also looked gorgeous with the city lights dancing in her hazel eyes.

"Nothing, really, I was just wondering," she froze. She was leaning over the balcony and it nerved Will, since he was kind of afraid of heights. Will walked up next to her and turned her face around to look at him, her eyes were full of worry and remorse.

"Wondering what?" he said at almost a whisper. "Why you care all of a sudden,"

Will wanted to cry. All of a sudden? Didn't she know that he had always cared? Why hadn't he ever shown it, she was apparently damaged. How had he missed it? The drinking the pills, the lack of emotion and broken home as a child it all makes sense! Why had he never talked to Karen about it before?

He gazed at the woman before him, almost a prettier sight than the famous city that was at his feet, he brought her to him and hugged her tightly, and for the first time, she hugged back.

"Oh Karen, I've always cared about you, I just want you to be happy and I know that you aren't," Karen pulled away, "Will I'm happy," she pulled out a pack of cigarettes from her pocket and took two out with her mouth and lit them, she handed one to Will who took it hesitantly. He put it to his mouth and he could taste her lipstick on it.

Karen knew he smoked, and he knew she smoked. It was one thing that connected them, that secret of theirs.

Will inhaled and exhaled the smoke off into the warm air. "Karen, I've seen you crying and I can tell you're troubled, please just let me inside those walls, let me see the woman behind all of the make-up, all of the expensive clothes and fake laughs and smiles,"

Karen looked at Will, she was unsure about what Will was saying, but she was so eager to let him in, so eager to let someone hear what had been racing through her mind for so long but she couldn't bring herself to open her mouth, the words couldn't come out but then she felt it, she felt Will's hand touch her cheek and that was enough, enough hiding her anguish, enough of tormenting herself with all of the inner conflict she had been struggling with as long as she could remember, Karen Walker had cracked.

"Will, you don't have to do this, you don't have to be here, I can handle myself it's just, it's just so hard Will." Will remained silent. "Everyday I have to be perfect, I have to be flawless and happy and always so content but I'm hurting Will I'm hurting!" she was shouting now and she didn't care, normally she would and that scared her a little.

"I'm just a spoiled bitch, that's what people say about me, a stuck up snobby socialite with a drinking problem. It's true, I am all of those things but that's not all I am. I'm also kind, I can be kind Will, I'm empathetic I care about my friends and I care about my husband and most of all, I'm lonely, I'm so…so lonely," her make-up ran and she sobbed. She slid to the ground with her back to the wall. Will got down on his knees and wrapped his arms around his delirious friend.

Two hours later they had moved into the den, Will still not apart from Karen's side. Karen was drinking coffee, her make up was off and she was completely bare, exposed.

"Do you want me to stay the night?" Will asked, really hoping she said yes because he felt good comforting her. "Um, Will you don't, you don't have to do that. I mean we both have work tomorrow and I'm sure you have things to do and," "Karen please let me stay," and that was enough.

They didn't go into the bedroom or change into anything, they just stayed on that couch, Karen fell asleep in Will's arms and he kissed her forehead and held her until he drifted off as well.

He woke up and Karen was gone, Will walked over to the bathroom and splashed water on his face. He wiped it off with a towel and when he looked back up Karen was behind him in the mirror, no make up, her hair undone and messy and she had a pair of thick-framed glasses on.

"Morning Wilma, I mean Will," she said loudly, trying to cover up how vulnerable she had been the night before. Will picked up on it and replied with, "Morning lady," she smiled. Will turned around looked at her and smiled, "you look pretty," he said honestly. Karen pushed him out of the way and looked in the mirror, "Oh please honey save it," she tried pushing her hair back and running through it with her fingers.

"You're going to be late for work," she said. "So are you," "Oh please honey I'm always late for work," she laughed. "Well, I better get going then, I'll call you later alright?" he said. Karen seemed almost sad he was leaving. Will would stay if he could but he couldn't afford another day off.

"Bye Will I lo- thanks," Will knew what she was going to say and he walked over and hugged her, "Love you too,"

He walked onto the sweet morning air and stepped onto the sidewalk. He looked up and saw Karen standing in the window, she had a white night gown on and she looked like an angel, he waved and she waved back then he walked down the street, feeling very relieved.

Karen smiled and shut the blinds, she may look like an angel but it was the exact opposite, Will was her angel and she knew he had saved her.


	4. Karen's World

Karen stumbled into her bedroom, she had been drinking more than usual and it was kind of obvious. "I can see you," she said to the maids as they scurried out of the room. Karen walked out to the balcony and screamed. She did this often and she wonder who heard her, did she care if it was anyone?

They probably just thought it was that crazy rich lady again…drank too much, or got in a fight with her fat rich husband or hers. Did anyone really care why she was screaming? Would they care if she fell face first on the pavement beneath her? Would THAT make a difference?

She was a little thrown off by the display of affection Will had shown earlier that day but the alcohol was consuming her a little too much to notice it. It was raining out and she was getting wet so she stormed back into her bedroom and threw herself to the floor.

She glanced over at her top drawer…she craved what was inside of it. It ws something that would end all her anguish in one pull of it's trigger. It was loaded with one bullet and that would be plenty…just one was all she needed. She almost stood up and reached for it when Will walked in.

"Karen?" he asked. It was Will. What the hell was he doing here? Did he need her to sign something? No, he wanted to talk to her. How did he know to come at that moment? She wanted him to stay, she wanted him to hold her and tell her it was okay but she threw him out, and as she heard the door shut, she threw her night stand over with the gun inside of it for letting herself push him away.

Then she toppled onto her bed but couldn't fall asleep, she remained awake, thinking about everything, life, everything. She rarely got full nights sleep anymore; just a couple of hours a night were sufficient. No one noticed the recent bags under her eyes or how she occasionally drifted out of conversation into a dream land all her own.

It hurt her a little bit that nobody noticed that she was completely miserable, that she was a prisoner in her own perfect body. She didn't expect anyone to notice, since she wasn't exactly "open" but it would've been nice if someone asked now and again…wait, Will had asked… But why? Did he care? If he did, why all of a sudden?

In Karen World everyone has an ulterior motive and everyone was out for themselves, no one was empathetic, or caring of others feelings, everyone was on their own in the cruel World.

WILL… suddenly that name was a haven. Why though? He had just said a few things to Karen, why was it such a relief? Maybe it was because nobody had cared for so long, that even a simple gesture was completely refreshing to her…god how sad.

She truly was pathetic, sitting there in the dark, drunk and high on God knows what… thinking about her boss's gay sexless spouse, it made her sick to her stomach but ten minutes later, she found herself thinking fondly of him once more and she covered her ears and shut her eyes tightly and fell asleep.

The next day she woke up with a dreadful hangover, and cured it the only way she knew how…. by drinking. Keeping her blood alcohol level up helped avoid things like headaches and vomiting so she took a few shots and went to work.

She knew Will would be coming; he had made plans with Grace to do lunch. Karen had a hunch she would cancel on him though, since she appeared to be super busy…maybe she should help grace out, or file her nails and thumb through the new vogue…yeah the second one was definitely more appealing.

Karen prayed Grace would call Will and cancel before he even made his way over to the office, so she didn't have to see him. She knew he'd probably blab about seeing her all crying and smashed and although she'd deny it and call him crazy, it would still be a sticky situation.

Grace had seen Karen cry before…once after Stan almost died, she had walked in on her holding Stan's wedding band, but what Will saw was different. It wasn't a little cry in a hospital room that was quickly dismissed by a quick joke about Grace's bad clothing and hair, no. What Will saw was a complete Karen meltdown, ones that were commonly occurring by rarely viewed or discussed.

Karen meltdowns were often heard by staff members but were never spoken of, or questioned, they just happened and that was all. Karen knew that the staff knew better to ask about anything that went on behind her shut doors, but sometimes she wanted someone just to smile at her, letting her know that they cared if she were alive or dead.

Will walked into the office…


	5. Coffee and Committment

Will tossed over in his bed, and then he heard a knock on the front door and he jumped up. It was probably Grace, forgetting her key…. again. He got up and scratched his head and walked out into the living room. His eyes couldn't adjust and he stubbed his toe on the couch.

He peeked in the hole, it wasn't Grace, it was Karen and she was trembling. Will quickly unlocked the door and let her in. "Oh, hi Will… did I wake you?" she asked. "Karen it's three in the morning, what's up?"

Will didn't mean for his comment to sound like he didn't want Karen over but that's how she took it, "Oh um, I'm sorry I'll go," she turned but Will grabbed her shoulder, "No Karen," he paused, "come on we'll go get coffee," he said. He walked into his room and through on some jeans and a button down shirt over his white tank top.

He walked back into the hallway and put his arm around Karen's waste, "Come on," he said to her. Karen didn't know what it was about Will but he made her feel special, important…. loved? Whatever it was, she thought about Will constantly, more than she'd like to admit.

She felt good having a man around that didn't ask for anything in return. Will was her shoulder to cry on, her ear to whisper her secrets into, and her strong hands to hold.

They got to the café on the corner and they walked in and sat down, "God I didn't even know this place was open this late," said Karen taking her jacket off. "Yeah it is, this is where I take Grace when she's having nightmares," Will chuckled but Karen gazed into his eyes, "What?" asked Will inquiringly. "You're a really good friend is all," she said almost blushing. Will smiled at her. Will was proud of himself, he finally got through to her.

"So, coffee at three am? What's up?" asked Will to Karen who shifted in her seat at the subject change. "Will if I tell you this do you promise not to tell anyone?" she said quickly, Will took a second to comprehend and then replied with, "of course," but Karen paused.

"Go ahead Karen tell me," pleaded Will. Karen lowered her head and she swirled her spoon around in her coffee, "Sn hs e" she mumbled. "What?" She looked up, her eyes swelled a little with tears and when they were filled one fell to her nose. "Stan he, he hits me," she confessed.

She instantly regretted saying it, because saying it out loud meant it was true. Will was speechless. The coffee house was nearly empty, besides a homeless guy in the corner talking to himself and a bald worker that had been checking Will out since he walked in the door.

"Oh Karen," he said softly. Then a feeling Will never felt before came over him, he couldn't even explain what it was. It was…. odd, new, but it was good, then Will almost felt sick about feeling good after hearing such awful news.

Will reached over and grabbed Karen's little hands. "He just came home today and I was asleep," she started out slowly, "and he just ripped me out of bed and he" her voice quivered, "threw me against the wall, I I'm sorry I came over but I didn't know what else to do,"

"It's okay," Will implored. Ten minutes later they were on the street, Will was still feeling that funny feeling and it drove him crazy. He looked over at Karen and he put his arm around her waist again, he liked doing that with her. He liked his arm around her petite body, and she liked it too, she felt safe.

"Well you're staying the night tonight you know," he told her when they got to where they split up, "Oh Will I couldn't" she tried but Will just shook his head and she was quiet.

When they got to the door she remembered, "What about Grace?" Will fumbled with his keys, "She's in Schenectady visiting her parents all weekend, don't worry."

They entered the apartment and Will turned on the lights, "Thank you Will you can't imagine how much this means to me, I'm really sorry I'm bugging you," Will walked over to her and pulled her close to him, "stop saying you're sorry Karen," he said.

Will let go and Karen smiled at him he bent down to give her a sweet peck goodnight then he looked up. Karen looked at Will but then pulled him in again, but not for no goodnight peck, she kissed him passionately and Will pulled away, "Karen? I'm gay," he said almost reflectively.

"Oh my god," Karen said covering her mouth, "I'm so sorry Will I didn't mean to do that I just, I'm sorry," Will grabbed her and said, "I told you to stop saying sorry," then he kissed her just as passionately as she kissed him

His hand slid up her back and unhooked her bra and she pulled back a little, but he moved with her and they stumbled to the wall…..

TO BE CONTINUED…

WHAT DID YOU GUYS THINK? I DON'T KNOW IF I REALLY WANTED TO DO THAT, BUT IT JUST SEEMED RIGHT…. ANY SUGGESTIONS? PLEASE REVIEW! AND THANKS EVERYONE FOR THEIR REVIEWS SO FAR! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!


	6. A Kiss To Bliss

"Will we can't do this," she said, although she herself didn't even believe it because there they were, at four in the morning…doing it.

"Shh," he told her, "it's okay Karen," and Karen believed him. She pulled his head down back to her mouth to keep her from talking. She backed Will up and they stumbled along the walls of the hallway until they made it into Will's room. Karen threw her bra onto the floor since it was already unhooked and she took her shirt off.

Will had only done this with a woman once before but it didn't matter, he wanted Karen…badly, more than he wanted anyone before, man or woman. Karen wanted him too, she felt it deep within her bones, a feeling she had never gotten with Stanley.

Karen claimed to love Stan, but maybe that was only because she didn't know what love was, not until now. Love was not having to be afraid that after sex you were going to get beaten black and blue, love was not suffering through a painful marriage for prada, love was simple dynamics, it was friendship.

Karen came to Will and took his shirt off. They fell back onto the bed and Will slid up to the head and Karen climbed on top of him. Will was intoxicated by her dominance, her intensity, Stan was insane to hurt that woman, she was amazing.

Karen bit Will's lip and he inhaled sharply. Her soft hands undid Will's pants and she slid them down along with his boxer briefs. She ran her tongue down his torso and put her mouth where he wanted it, but he soon pulled her up and flipped her around and got on top of her and removed her pants as well and slid himself into her.

Karen whimpered and stuffed her fist on her mouth to muffle her moaning. She felt great being with someone new, someone handsome and she wanted to please him best she could.

Karen fell asleep in Will's arms. Pretty soon Karen's eyes fluttered open and the room was flooded with sunlight. She stood up and wrapped the deep red bed sheet around her. She walked into the house, Will wasn't in the living room or kitchen. She walked out onto the balcony and he was smoking, she lit a cigarette off of his and he smiled. "Good morning," he said.

Karen remained silent and sat on the ledge and crossed her legs. They didn't hear Grace enter, but she said, "Will? Are you home?" But there they were on the balcony, Karen naked underneath a sheet and smoking with Will.

Grace opened the door to the balcony, "Hi Will," she said, and then she put the pieces together. "Hi…Karen? Will are you smoking? What the hell's going on?"


	7. Fess Up

"Grace what are you doing home?" were the only words Will could come up with. She didn't answer. "What's going on," she said in scary seriousness. Karen hopped off the ledge and wrapped the sheet securely around her naked body. She gulped audibly. "Will," pleaded Grace. "Okay, there's no getting around this I guess I have to say the truth.

Karen pleaded in her eyes to make up some extravagant lie about how she got jumped by ninjas and stole her clothes and Will had to wrap her in a sheet, or something! Anything but the truth!

"Come back in here," said Will. He tried to put his hand on Grace's shoulder to guide her out but she threw it off violently and Will knew this was no good.

They made it to the couch where Karen and Will sat next to each other, but not closely and Grace on the chair with her hand covering her face. "Please tell me this isn't what I think it is," said Grace finally looking up at Will, completely ignoring Karen.

"Well what do you think this is?" said Will apprehensively. "Oh come on Will don't play stupid you know exactly what this looks like!" she snapped. "Well I hate to disappoint you but…" he trailed off. Grace shook her head.

"How long," said Grace, finally. "That was the first time," said Will truthfully. Grace continued to shake her head. "Karen how could you!" she shouted. Karen was caught off guard by the girl's sudden burst of anger and resentment. Karen didn't say anything…what could she say?

"Grace, please don't take this the wrong way, we never intended for you to get hurt it was just…" "It was just what," she said. "A mistake?"

Karen paused but finally spoke up, "I don't think that it was a mistake," she said bravely, if Grace wasn't so upset Will would of smiled because he agreed completely.

"So what now, you aren't gay Will? You're sleeping with my assistant? You're smoking?"

Will had enough, "Just let me live my life Grace let me be happy! Why are you so upset? Because I didn't sleep with you?" Grace paused, Will could tell his words dug deeper into his heartbroken friend more than he'd intended them to.

"No Will, I want you to be happy, I want you to live your life, it just hurts I didn't know about any of it is all, it hurts that you felt you had to keep it from me, like I'm some terrible person that's beyond empathy and compassion, it hurts is all. And for someone who is looking for sympathy as much as you are, I'd figure you'd have a little to give as well, guess I was wrong."

She stormed out and slammed the door behind her. "Oh Will," said Karen.

For the first time since Karen and Will's little dalliance had started, Karen held Will instead of the other way around. Karen let Will cry into her shoulder and she put on a brave face.

It was defiantly a mess they had gotten themselves into but Karen couldn't help thinking to herself through all of it, "this is worth it…it has to all be worth it" and he didn't say it but she knew Will was thinking the same thing.

Will walked Karen home. Stanley was there and Will insisted on coming in but she said it was all right and that she'd call if anything would happen. Karen went in after giving Will a quick peck on the cheek as not to be seen by anyone.

She shooed Will away but he waited by the door until her figure was in the window behind the silk curtains, Will smiled at her, his angel and he walked down the street.

Somewhere deep down he knew everything was going to be okay…it had to be.


	8. Love Is Pain

Will was nervous about coming back home, he thought that Grace might be there, meaning he'd have to deal with something that he really wasn't prepared to deal with.

He put his key in the lock but twisted it slowly; he took in a deep breath and opened the door, empty. He let out a sigh and shut the door behind him.

He threw his keys down and walked into the kitchen area and poured himself a glass of wine and he went out on the balcony and lit a cigarette, he heard the door open but since Grace already knew he smoked he didn't have to spray Lysol, pop gum and put lotion on his hands to hide it, he just stayed out there with the cigarette between his fingers and the glass of wine on the ledge next to him.

"Will?" asked a familiar voice although not the one he expected. It was Jack. "Hey buddy," he said patting Will on the back. Since Jack didn't comment on his smoking Will figured Grace had told him everything. "Grace told me everything," Jack confirmed. Will remained silent. Jack paused for Will to say something, anything, an explanation for all of it, denial, or SOMEthing.

"So what happened?" asked Jack finally, trying not to sound judgmental. "With what?" asked Will, trying to play dumb. "With you and Karen, I mean Grace came to my apartment in tears, saying how she came home and found you and Karen out here smoking and Karen was naked in your bed sheet, you can't deny what that looks like Will," "I'm not denying it," Will clarified immediately. "Okay," replied Jack.

"So…what happened Will?" Will took a long drag from his cigarette and tossed it, "me and Karen had sex," he said bluntly. He walked into the house again and poured himself another glass of wine; Jack followed him, "Um I'm going to need a little more than that?"

"It's not a big deal," tried Will, although he hardly bought it himself. "Not a big deal? Will Karen is married, she's Grace's assistant and friend and until now you were supposed to be gay, if that's not a big deal to you then," "Okay it is a big deal Jack!" snapped Will incisively. Jack lowered his voice, "It is Will, just talk to me, I'm not judging you I just want the story, and you're my best friend I want you to be happy."

Will was on the verge of tears but threw them back with a large gulp of the sweet liquid in his glass. "Well, Jack I can't tell you the whole story, I wish I could but I promised Karen," said Will truthfully, Jack nodded to let Will know he didn't expect Will to betray the trust of one of his closest friends.

"But I guess I can tell you the shortened story," Jack jumped on the countertop and Will went closer to him.

"Well, it started a little while back, I mean nothing sexual it's just we started talking. Karen had been…upset a little and I had some stress issues and we just talked and listened to each other really well, last night Karen was a little more sad than usual and she came over and one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together."

Will hated the silence and wished Jack would say something quickly, the silence stung his ears. "Well I can tell that story is extremely edited but that's all I need." Will touched Jack's knee, thankful for the benevolence of his friend.

"Don't worry Will, I'm sure Grace will…get over it, I mean you guys are best friends she's just in shock is all, I'm gunna go over and try to talk to her a little, I'll send her over in about ten minutes," he said on his way out.

Will walked outside to the balcony and lit another cigarette, since he was free from his secret he felt the urge to smoke more.

In exactly eleven minutes he felt a soft chin on his shoulder, "Hey Will," she said in such a way that he could almost see her holding a white flag, and saying "I'm so sorry."

He turned around and pulled Grace close to him, "I'm so sorry I yelled at you two today Will," she said a little apprehensively. "Sweetie I'm sorry you had to come home to such a surprise," there was a pause and Grace let go and wiped her tears and looked at her best friend, smoking, sleeping with women, (well not really women…a woman, one woman) and she realized, he was still the same person.

It was the same Will that stayed home from work when she was sick to take care of her, the same Will that let her live with him free of charge, the same Will who took her to the coffee house at three in the morning when she was upset, and she couldn't believe she had treated _her_ Will that way.

"It just hurt that you two kept it from me," she said finally. "Well sweetie I wasn't really, it all just happened so fast I didn't even get a chance to tell you,"

There was another silence.

"So…what does this mean? I mean are you and Karen a couple now? Was it a one time thing?" said Grace attempting to play coy. "God Gracie, I really don't know, we kinda have to talk about it," Grace smiled. "Well what about Stan you can't do this to him, sleep with the woman he loves behind his back," Will gave a menacing look at the sound of his name and Grace picked up on it.

"What, what's with the look?" she asked. "What look?" he tried innocently, "the look you just gave when I said Stan," he gave it again subconsciously. Grace shook her head but said nothing.

Will didn't know what to do, but finally Grace looked up at Will a little teary eyed, "He hits her doesn't he," she said boldly. "What? Why would you think that?" "Will I always sensed he did. The way she flinched when he touched her, the way once every few weeks she'd come in with long sleeves in the summer to hide bruises, the way she took excess pills after a rough night, I knew it Will."

Will sat down at hearing those words, Grace knew? How could she know and not say anything? And worst of all, if she noticed…. why didn't he? Why didn't Jack? Did Jack? So many questions going through his head, but no answers.

"Why didn't you ever ask her about it?" he said finally. "I-I don't know, I mean it was just a hunch and that's kind of a touchy subject Will and she never spoke of it, I didn't know,"

Will and Grace. Will and Grace and held each other on their balcony, crying over their friend, and how awful they had been to her. They realized they had been so self-centered so…indulged in themselves they didn't realize someone they loved was hurting, someone was screaming right in front of them! but no one heard her….


	9. Flow

"…_A friend is the first one to walk in when the world walks out…"_

The next day Grace was at her desk, shuffling papers, her ears were ringing and she had a piercing headache so when Karen entered she didn't hear and Karen didn't say anything assuming Grace was mad at her.

She sat down at her desk and looked around the room tentatively. Grace finally looked over and realized she was there. "Hi Grace," she said. Grace didn't think she would, she promised she wouldn't, she begged herself not to, but it came…tears.

How could she have not said anything? Her hunches were so strong, her conjectures had been correct, and yet she did nothing. "What's the matter Gracie?" asked Karen as if it were any other day. "I'm so sorry Karen, I am so sorry," she said walking to Karen and holding her closely. "What? What is it?" asked Karen, trying to speculate what her friend could possibly be apologizing for.

"I knew it, I knew Stan hurt you and I didn't say anything, god Kare I'm awful, please forgive me. I knew it, and I did nothing, I think it was so harrowing to me to know someone was hurting you that I didn't admit I knew to anyone because it made it less real,"

Karen took a giant step back. This hurt her even more. Grace knew. Grace knew she had pain but she selfishly kept it to herself and let it continue. She knew it was her fault as well, not telling anyone, not attempting to open up to her friends by any means, but Grace knew, and nothing came of it.

Karen stopped for a moment. She knew about Jack's eating disorder, and never said anything. She knew he threw up after almost every meal, burning his throat, hurting himself. She didn't say anything. Was this how every friendship was? Was everyone in the world terrible? She couldn't bear to think of it. There was nothing to say. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't think, she became dizzy with emotions and finally said, "How come you never said anything?" it was a whisper but Grace heard it all too well.

"I-I wasn't sure and I didn't want to just…accuse," "Accuse? The man knocks me unconscious weekly, leaving me black and blue and you just ignore that? You see me downing OxyContin like jellybeans and you ignore it?"

There was a long pause. The two women were full of tears, regret, anger, frustration and every other emotion possible.

"Well why?" said Grace finally, "Why What?" "Why did you wait? How could you never say anything? You know I care about you, you know I would've listened Karen why do you just keep it to yourself? If you hurt I hurt too!" she shouted.

"Why did I wait? I don't know Grace. I really don't and everyday I wanted to tell you, I came close a couple of times, really, but every time the words came to my head I couldn't get them to my mouth."

Then all anger was gone, and all that was left was empathy. Karen kissed grace on the cheek. "I know now and everything is going to be okay," said Grace, Karen wished she could believe her.

Later that night Karen let all of the drama leave her and since Stan was out of town again…thank god… she invited Will over. She was in the middle of attempting to cook a meal when he entered the kitchen. "What are ya doing?" he asked.

His voice put a smile to her face, "Hey, just cooking us something…. or maybe not," she said looking at her creation. He came and put his hands around her waist. "What was that supposed to be?" he asked. "Shut up," she said and turned around and smacked him playfully.

She was in a red tank top and some black pants. Her hair was up, excluding a few perfect strands that refined her face. Her lips were red. Her earrings sparkled along with her eyes. Will longed at her until she noticed and said, "What?" He didn't respond, he just bent down and kissed her delicately on her lips.

"I'm not really that hungry," she lied, she was starving, hadn't eaten all day. "Me neither," said Will who's situation didn't differ much. They kissed down the hallway to the stairs, making it up eventually. Karen kicked the door shut behind them and she kicked off her heels, putting her down to her normal height, which wasn't tall.

"You're gorgeous," admitted Will. She rolled her eyes, guys told her that plenty of times…but when Will said it…she believed him.

The door to the balcony was open and the curtains blew and cool air flooded the room, Karen bit her lower lip as Will lowered her to the bed. She spread her legs and he put his body between them. He never put all of his weight on Karen, afraid he would hurt her, and after awhile it was hard holding himself up and so Karen rolled over and moved herself on top of him.

She kissed his neck, and sucked on the lower part, purposely giving him a little hickey, since he had given her two on her chest area and she felt the need to return the favor.

She did it gently, and it made Will tingle.

Karen took her hair down, it was a little messy but still flawless in its own way, the wind blew it gently, it blew the sheer white canopy that graced her bed and it flowed around them. Karen took her shirt off and Will's as well, then the pants and everything else was removed.

They rocked back and forth on a steady beat, Karen pressing herself to Will. She loved him inside her. Then Karen said, "I didn't lock the door," She went to get up but Will flipped her over and pressed on her. "So? No one is here," "Rosario might come in," she protested as she tried once again to get up but he pressed to her once more and she let him kiss her and thrust momentarily, but her senses came back and she said, "Will," "What? Are you afraid they're going to come in and find us?" he bit her shoulder, "Butt naked?" he kissed her lips, "making love?" she had to smile at him, he was adorable.

"You're a jerk," she said as he nibbled her ear. But soon nothing came from her mouth but moans.

She wrapped herself in the pure white sheet and walked out to the balcony. The wind blew threw her hair, and her sheet that appeared to be a gown, she was breathtaking.

Will got out of the shower and walked out to her with a towel around his waist. He kissed her neck. "You're incredible," he said.

The door to their room opened, Karen walked in the room, Will didn't move and he smoked, but listened hesitantly to how she'd explain her nudity to her maid. "Rosario if you put that much fabric softener one more time I swear…" there was a pause…"Stanley…"

**HEY GUYS, NOT ONE OF MY BEST CHAPTERS…I'VE BEEN HAVING WRITERS BLOCK LATELY…. WELL ANYWAYS, LEMME KNOW IF YOU LIKE IT PLEASE!! AND IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS FEEL FREE TO SHARE THEM!!! AND BY THE BY…I ABSOLUTELY HATE HATE HATE MY TITLE, ANY SIGGESTIONS?**


	10. Love Heals

"What are you doing here?" she asked solemnly. Will heard her words all to well and shook his head and bit his lip, contemplating what to do. He couldn't just saunter on out, but if Stanley put pieces together, he couldn't just sit in there either.

"I cam home early," he said in a muffled voice. "Oh, well how was your trip?" she said trying to sound as casual as possible. He didn't respond. Karen reached for the wedding band on the nightstand and discretely put it back on her finger.

"Why are you naked?" he said finally, Will put his hand to his face, hoping she was quick enough to come up with SOMETHING. "Oh, Rosario just took it out of the dryer and it was all warm so I wanted to wear it for a little bit," Wow good work Karen!

"Oh, you're so weird," said Stanley bluntly. She did one of her nervous laughs. "I'm taking a shower," he said. "Okay sweetie," said Karen. When Stanley shut the door behind him Karen rushed to the balcony and grabbed Will, "Okay hurry up and get out of here!" she said. He rushed out and put on his pants and shirt.

"Okay get out of here!" said Karen. Will leaned down to kiss her and then he left. Karen sighed a big sigh of relief and fell back on the bed, plus tonight Stanley was too tired from his trip to bother her, she was home free.

Will made it to the street, he smiled since that was a really close call. But upstairs, no one was smiling…

Stan walked out of the bathroom with a familiar look in his eye, Karen knew it was over, "Why is the toilet seat up?" he asked. "I don't know maybe Rosario was cleaning it?" He shook his head no, and Karen knew there was no excuse that could change what would happen next. "There was a man here wasn't here, don't lie to me Karen!" he screamed at her.

She shut her eyes and lifted up her hands in attempt to protect herself from the screaming, "There was no one here Stan," she lied. He slapped her across the face and she clenched her teeth. You could make out the grimace in her eyes and she braced herself as much as one could, for what was about to come…

He threw her against the wall, calling her a tramp and a whore. The words stung more than the actual beating itself because she thought to herself…I'm a whore for wanting to be happy…I shouldn't have reached for Will…

Karen slid to the ground as he slapped her once more. Her fragile body curled on the ground as he kicked her repeatedly. Eventually she wasn't moving at all and he gave up and went to sleep.

Karen woke up early in the morning and realized she was still on the floor. She looked over at the man sleeping and debated momentarily smothering him with a pillow while he slept. She stumbled into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, oh god…it was bad this time.

Her eye was black and her lip split, dry blood was on her forehead. She tentatively cleaned it off and cringed at the burn. It was never this obvious, he was usually more careful to hit her away from the face so she could hide it. She took some make up and put it over her black eye.

She knew the process all too well, and she was ashamed that she had gotten quite good at it. She ran red lipstick over her split eye gently and she felt tears deluge as she did so. She wiped them away and put on her makeup and she walked back into the room.

She let the sheet that had been draping her fall and she put on some clothes, she didn't even spend the usual two hours going through every article until finding the perfect one, she just threw on the first decent outfit she could get her hands on then she went downstairs to the bar and drank.

She drank away the pain, the rage, the resentment and the loneliness…she drank it all away into nothingness, a place where there was no feeling…happy or sad and everything was just numb and deadened. She poured a familiar white powder onto a silver spoon and she snorted up her nose and she glanced at the clock…time for work.

She stumbled into the office and said, "Whoa," and chuckled. Grace looked up, concerned for her intoxicated friend and colleague. "Hey Kare," she said. Karen spun around and almost fell over but reached for her desk and gained balance.

"Hey…hey," she said back. She had sunglasses on and long sleeves and pants, and it wasn't a cold day out, it wasn't even chilly and Grace suspected the worse since she was showing all of the usual symptoms.

She was earlier than usual. Her body was mostly covered. She was high out of her mind. She was wearing sunglasses. Grace knew.

"Are you okay?" she asked lightly, "What happened?" Karen threw Grace's arms off of her shoulders and sat in her desk "Nothing?" asked Karen, and if Grace hadn't known the truth all too well, she possibly would have bought that well rehearsed…"nothing."

"Take off your sunglasses," Grace instructed, Karen gave in and did so, revealing a covered black eye that if Grace didn't know better, would have missed. "Take off your shirt Kare," said Grace near tears as she realized some blood had seeped through the back of it. "Hell no Lezzie Bourdon!" she said as she took it off. Karen was too gone to notice it wasn't really appropriate.

Grace guided Karen to the back room where she had a first aid kit. She put some antibacterial on the cuts and bruises. Karen remained silent. Then they sat there in that room, Karen resting her head on Grace's shoulder, in silence. There were no words to say. No words could make this any better.

Karen came off her high and she then realized the gravity of the situation. "It's bad Grace…and it's only getting worse," she finally confessed, after years or knowing it. Grace said nothing and Karen expected that. Grace kissed Karen's forehead and said, "It's going to be okay, you're going to leave him and be safe and happy and you'll never have to see his face again," she said.

Karen sobbed and looked up at Grace. "I'm scared," she whispered. "I know you are, I know. Sometimes we have to do things that scare us though, sometimes we have to face our demons so they aren't demons anymore, sometimes we just have to trust our friends that they will never leave us, and that they love us more than anything in the World."

The phone rang and Grace didn't get up, neither did Karen…the phone rang all day but neither moved.

Grace fell asleep and Karen had been up for awhile so she fixed Grace some coffee for the first time of being her assistant. She walked into the back room and stroked Grace's head gently and said, "Gracie? Hey I made you some coffee," Grace stirred then sat up and took the cup in her hands and brought it to her lips.

It was unspoken, but Karen knew she was staying at Will and Grace's that night. She glanced at the clock, it was already pretty late…it seemed like the day was gone so fast, although it didn't feel to be wasted despite the fact they did absolutely nothing. But it wasn't nothing to Karen, to Karen it was everything.

They walked into Will and Grace's apartment, grace turned on the lights and whispered, "I'll get you some pajamas; Will is probably already asleep; I checked the messaged before we left, and he was really worried about not hearing from you all day, maybe you should go lay with him," Karen liked that idea. Grace brought her some colorful silky pants and Karen slipped them on along with one of Grace's college T-shirts.

They were in the hallway about to go into their separate rooms and Karen pulled Grace in for a hug. "Thank you Gracie, thanks for being here for me," Grace rubbed Karen's back soothingly, "If only I were here earlier for you," Grace thought. Then they went their separate ways for the night, which weren't so separate at all.

Karen slinked threw Will's door and slid behind him on the bed. She kissed the side of his face and Will looked up and realized who it was and pulled her over him so he could look at her. He saw her bruises and he shook his head and held her hands, one was a little cut up so he kissed it…hoping it would make it better.

When kids are little, they think that kisses make their injuries go away. What kids don't know is that although it won't make them go away, it never ceases to help.

**BY THE WAY, IF ANYONE IS ACTUALLY READING THIS TONIGHT, (March 20, 2007) MEGAN MULLALLY IS GOING TO BE ON BOSTON LEGAL TONIGHT! JUST A HEADS UP IF ANYONE LOVES HER AS MUCH AS I DO AND WANTS TO SEE HER! AND THANKS SOOO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWS!!**


	11. Apologies and Apathy

Three days went by and Karen remained at Will and Grace's, but she knew she couldn't stay there forever and that frightened her. It was an awkward three days, everyone avoiding talking about what they knew they had to talk about, but Karen was actually relieved because honestly, all she wanted to do was forget Stanley Walker, forget the abuse and start a new life all together.

Karen couldn't help but think of him though, she loved Stan, she really did, despite all he did to her. It was her first love, and she couldn't help but miss the good days when he would hold her hands in his, would take her out to dinner and kiss her goodnight and hold her in his arms until she slept, and that was the only thing so far that had kept her from leaving him…the hope it would return to the way it was.

Reality was, those days existed only in her memories now and the Stanley Walker now, was not the same Stanley Walker who she had married. This thought was too hard for her to grasp though and she dismissed it.

On the fourth day of living in their house Karen decided to talk to Will, about their relationship, about their situation about Stan about everything, and having three days to get her head clear, she knew that what she was about to tell him was what she really wanted.

"Will, now I now what you're going to say but please…hear me out," she started off and Will feared what was going to come next. "Now, I am so grateful to you and to Grace for letting me stay here and vent for a few days but I think it's time to go back to Stan," she said.

"Karen you'll be killed I can't," "Will please. Now I am just going to talk with Stan, something I haven't done faithfully in years, and I think that he is going to listen." There was a pause and Will knew what this was. She was ending it with him and going back to her abusive husband.

"I don't belong here Will. It was fun, and it was great but my place is back at home with Stan. I have a great house in Manhattan, I have a great wardrobe, awesome wardrobe, boat loads of cash and…" she grasped his hands, "great friends," she emphasized friends. Will wanted to cry. "But are you happy?" he said. "What?" she didn't know where that was coming from, was she happy? What kind of a question was that? It was surely one she had never been asked before.

"Are you happy?" he repeated, loosing no enthusiasm. "I don't think that's," "Just answer the question Karen, are you happy or not? Because I think you aren't. I think that you like the securities but I know, I KNOW that you're miserable. When you were with me, when I woke up next to you, your eyes lit up in a way I had never seen them when you were with Stan,"

Karen stood up, "Goodbye Will."

She walked out and into the elevator and back to the manse. She opened the door hesitantly and peeked inside. Rosario was doing dishes, "Miss Karen where have you been? I've been worried sick!" she said coming up to Karen and giving her a hug. "Hey Row Row, I've been on a little vacation, how are things? Is Stan home?"

"Mr. Stan is upstairs, and he has been drinking every night since you left so," she wouldn't tell Karen to be careful, but it was stressed.

Karen slinked up the stairs into the study where she knew Stan would be, she pushed the door open and he was sitting on a sofa with a glass in his chubby hands. "Hello Stanley," she said. He looked up and then looked back to his glass, "Where have you been?" his voice was scratchy from the sharp drink.

"I was just staying with Will and Grace, Grace has been having some problems with," she caught herself lying and stopped and went and sat down next to Stan on the little couch. "Stan I need to talk to you," she said. He looked up at her and apathetically said, "Alright." Karen's fingers were sweating and she twisted her wedding band until her finger was raw.

"Well, I was at Will and Grace's because I was scared to come home," she admitted finally. 'Why were you scared?" "Why was I scared? Stan you beat the shit out of me, I was knocked on the floor, you gave me this cut on my cheek," she spit out quickly.

"Baby I didn't mean that, I was just angry please forgive me!" Karen had heard that line so many times, she wanted to believe this time it was for real, and that he'd never hurt her again, but she couldn't because she knew the truth all too well. "I promise it's never going to happen again, I didn't want to hurt you I was just really angry," he said.

"Okay," she conceded and she pecked him on the cheek. The night her and Stan had sex, but Karen couldn't help but picture her husband as Will, wishing he was the one inside of her, but she knew it could never be again, and that she would cut off her own hand before reaching for him again. Karen and Stan, not Karen and Will, it was just how it had to be.

The next day Karen strolled into Grace's office, everything seemed back to normal, and she hoped all of her friends would treat it as such, she was wrong. "Morning Grace," she said, "Afternoon," Grace replied. "So how was last night?" said Grace as she walked over to Karen's desk. "It was okay?" Karen questioned her motive behind the query. "So, you and Stan talked? Are you moving out or what?" "Why would I be moving out?" replied Karen innocently as she began filing her nails, showing no serious interest in the topic.

"Karen? Are you drunk? Did you forget everything that's happened recently?" Karen stood up, a little disconcerted. Karen tried to walk to get some coffee but Grace turned her around, almost violently. "Karen listen to me! Are you really just going to ignore all of our advice? Are you really going to go back to the man that hurt you? Listen, being there for you is only going to go so far you have to have some incentive to leave him you can't just stay with a man that hurts you!" Grace was almost screaming.

"Grace, thanks for your help but I'll be fine, I talked to Stan and," "and what? He _apologized_? Please Karen you can't possibly believe that things are going to change, people don't change!" She wasn't almost screaming anymore. "And what about Will? Huh? He's in love with you and what you're just going to leave him? You got what you wanted from him? A fling? And now you're just going to go back with Stan? I can't believe you could be that incredibly stupid Karen, it's bullshit and you know it."

"Grace why don't you mind your own damn business," huffed Karen. "Mind my own business? Karen you are my business! You might be too drunk to notice it but I care about you! We all care about you! And it hurts us to see you being so careless."

"Well I don't care about you!" blurted out Karen, immediately regretting it. She knew she didn't mean it, Grace knew she didn't mean it, but it was said and that was it. "Get out," said Grace. "Grace I," "GET OUT!"

Karen began to walk out in shame but she hovered in the doorway for a second and without looking back said, "I'm so sorry that it has to be this way Grace, but this is my destiny and I can't change it," Grace was too upset to comprehend anything, she just threw a heavy book at the door as it closed behind Karen, Karen burst into tears but recuperated by the time she hit the lobby, her emotional break downs had learned to stop right before anyone could witness them.


	12. What's Normal?

"_We have a double standard, which is to say, a man can show how much he cares by being violent-see, he's jealous, he cares-a woman shows how much she cares by how much she's willing to be hurt; by how much she will take; how much she will endure; how suicidal she's prepared to be." –Andrea Dworkin_

Karen woke up at the manse, feeling exhausted after a night of faking orgasms and crying. Her hopes seemed to crumble around her one at a time. Slowly but surely sanity was slipping from her grasp. She grew weak.

She didn't go to work for two weeks and heard from no one and tried to get a hold of anyone. Jack had attempted to call her several times, claimed Rosario; Will twice; Grace none. She didn't even care, she blocked it all out and dismissed it with the same expression of carelessness.

Meanwhile Will and Grace were sitting in the apartment, quietly having another awkward dinner. "Good," said Grace. Will wiped his mouth, "Yeah, very," he replied. "How was work?" tried Grace. "It was alright I guess, got a new client, not very high-profile but.." he trailed off. "Good," said Grace, "So…how was work for you?" he asked. "Karen didn't come in Will," she said, knowing that was the information he wanted.

"Call her Grace, I'm worried, I've tried to call her, I even went over there on my lunch break and Rosario said she wasn't seeing anybody, I think something is wrong."

"Will god dammit!" Grace threw her fork down, "You know she made that choice, she CHOSE to go back to Stan, it was either him or us and she made her decision and you're just going to have to accept that!" God, Grace figured she was the only sane person left. Will knew what had to happen now, he had to convince Grace to go over there, he knew she would be the only one Karen would respond to.

He did it, finally after two hours of haggling, Grace trudged up to the steps, Will waiting on the sidewalk urging her on. She rang the doorbell and Rosario answered soon after, "Hello Bozo, Miss Karen isn't seeing anyone right now," she began to shut the door but Grace stuck her foot in and pressed it open. Good girl Gracie, thought will. Will couldn't hear what they were saying but Grace had convinced Rosario to give Grace just five minutes alone with Karen.

Grace walked up the stairs and made a left into Karen's bedroom, Karen wasn't in there. Grace walked threw the room and out onto the balcony since the doors were both open widely and there was a breeze coming threw. Grace walked out and saw Karen, sitting on the ledge smoking a cigarette with the pack in her little hand, the lighter in the other and the cigarette in her mouth.

Grace didin't say anything, she just walked up and took a cigarette out of the pack and lit it and inhaled. Karen looked at her, astonished. Grace figured if something like that was what bonded her and Will, she could bond with Karen that way as well, although she wasn't much of a smoker. She coughed and Karen smiled at her.

Grace got the hang of it (kind of) and finally had the breath to say, "I missed you," Karen didn't reply, she just smiled. For the first time since she came back to the manse she felt happiness, she felt a soothing to the absolute loneliness she endured constantly. Karen wanted to leave with Grace, go back to her apartment and run into Will's arms and hug him and kiss him and be happy with him, but she knew that wasn't an option…not with Stanly. She had made a commitment to the man and she had to honor that, she couldn't just up and leave the man who had supported her all those years.

Hapiness was not an option for Karen Walker.

"How've things been here?" asked Grace. "He hasn't hit me yet if that's what you mean," snapped Karen. "Yet?" caught Grace and for a moment Karen forgot she had put that word into her sentence, but didin't deny that she did. "Yet," repeated Karen. "Karen, what are you doing?" asked Grace, she took a drag from the cigarette and held back coughing all she could and just let out a little "Kah," sound.

"I don't know Grace," she said truthfully. Grace didin't take her oppurtinity to point out how ridiculously careless Karen was being, she just shook her head and that was enough for Karen. Enough to know that Grace cared, and enough to know that what she was doing was a mistake.

Grace left, Karen stayed and nothing changed really. They were just back to where they were, Karen working in the office and secretly being miserable. Will dating guys, (he had a date on Friday although he wasn't thrilled about it) Jackie being her poodle and attached to her hip, and Stan hitting her… normal.

Two days later Karen came into the office with a poorly covered black eye and her lip was swollen. Grace wasn't sure if she should say anything or not, but she knew that Will was coming in at lunch and he wouldn't be able to help himself, so she kept her mouth shut.

Karen secretly wanted Grace to say something about the obvious signs of a rough night, but was somewhat relieved she had saved it for Will because she missed the attention from him.

Will strolled into the office, right passed Karen (still being sore over what she had done to him, although he was madly in love with the woman) and walked up to Grace. He kissed her and said "Ready? I thought we'd try that new," he stopped when Grace nodded in Karen's direction. Will looked over at the woman who was frantically reapplying cover up to her bruised complexion. Will shook his head and squeezed Grace's hadn then let go and walked over to Karen.

"Karen can I see you on the fire escape for a moment?" he asked. "Sure honey," he leaded her out and she lit a cigarette, "You're smoking a lot more lately," he noted, "yeah well I'm trying to quit drinking and smoking is my alternative, after smoking I'm going to gum," she smiled at him fakely. "What happened to your face?" he asked. Karen didin't know how to come about the accusation but responded with, "What do you think?" Will knew that meant what he hoped it didin't but had known it was.

"So what's next?" he asked as she passed him the cigarette, careful not to let ashes drop on his hands. "Nothing, I'm just going to have to put up with it, I said for better or for worse, and I had the better…this is the worse," Will knew what she said had made sense but it didn't mean it had to be true.

That was it then, things were normal, and that was how it had to be, because that's what Karen wanted and Will couldn't argue that what Karen wanted, although wasn't what he needed…was what he wanted too.

They came back in, Grace looked hopeful, but Will shook his head "no" behind Karen and Grace let her head hang. "Welp, bye Karen, just answer the phones and, ugh who am I kidding, we'll be back in about an hour," said grace walking out. Karen expected Will to plead with her one last time to come back to him and to leave Stan but instead he walked past her and adressed her as, "Vampira," Karen wanted things to be back to normal.

Karen began to cry, realizing that normal wasn't what she wanted at all, she had wanted companionship, everything that she craved in her life was the only things it lacked, but she assumed she was being selfish…no one can have everything, not even Karen Walker. So she sat at her desk until Grace came back, and she left early and went home to her worst nightmare.


	13. The Dream

It was a chilly summer night in Manhattan. The wind was blowing a cool breeze and that was the only thing Karen heard as she walked home, she was too inside herself to take the limo, she needed space.

She had worn long sleeved but she still shivered as the wind slapped her face. She could tell it was going to rain. Thunder struck and she gazed at the sky, which was scattered with clouds. She hurried down the street, her purse above her head to protect her hair from the rain, but it was hopeless, it was pouring now. She entered the home and it seemed quiet.

She knew Stanley was sleeping because of his early business meeting in the morning and Rosario was out doing good knows what. She crept up the stairs and into the study where she collapsed onto the floor. In her head, Will came through the door and held her and kissed her and told her he loved her and that everything was going to be all right, but she opened her eyes and she was still alone.

After about twenty minutes of painful sobs racking her body she was silent and the sound of the rain soothed her momentarily. She hated her life, she hated what it had become and she realized that there was only one thing to do to change it…

She got up and wiped the tears from her eyes, she walked to the cabinet and took out a large bottle of vodka. Twenty minutes later it was gone and she was feeling a lot surer that her "solution" was the only thing to do. She took four pills with another beverage she had managed to get her shaky hands on and she stumbled into her bedroom.

There was Stanley, lying peacefully on his bed, with not a worry in his heart.

Karen suddenly hated him more than she ever had before and she went to her nightstand and pulled out a gun. She stroked the barrel and then loaded it gently. She stood up and gazed at the sleeping man. She put the barrel to her head, but then reached over and grabbed her phone and dialed the only number she knew…

Will was in his apartment cooking dinner and waiting for Grace to come home so they could eat together. He sensed tonight seemed oddly familiar, like he had dreamt it…

Then the phone rang and he recognized the number and said, "Hello?" as cheerfully as he could manage, "Will?" said the meek person on the other end, "Hey Karen what's up?" there was a dead silence, 'why was she whispering?' Will thought. "You know I love you right?" she said, Will knew this conversation, "Karen what's going on?" he replied.

"I, I am so sorry Will, it's just, it's just over now," said the scarily calm person on the other end, "What's over!? Karen talk to me! Don't hang up all right? I'll, be RIGHT over okay? Please don't hang up," said Will, putting his coat on frantically.

Grace walked through the door, "Hey Will. What's wrong?" she said innocently. Will ignored her and continued to head for the door, "Karen are you still there?" Grace looked at him confused. "Yeah honey, but, I won't be soon." Upon hearing those words he darted for the elevator, it opened right away and Grace jumped in after him, "What's going on is she okay?" Grace asked, "I'm on my way over Karen," said Will.

There was a silence, one that scared Will beyond comprehension and then he heard the worst, a gunshot. He heard the phone drop to the ground on the other line and he dropped his own phone and fell to the elevator floor and screamed. "What is it?" Grace screamed, fearing she already knew the answer.

Will was delirious; he didn't say anything to a frantic Grace as he tore down the slippery streets until he reached the house he wanted. He hoped what he had heard on the phone was a mistake, that it was all in his head.

He dreamt it, and he tried to prevent it but he couldn't, you can't change destiny, you can't stop fate. He threw the door open and Grace waited outside (since the rain had stopped) as Will had firmly instructed her to. He witlessly dashed up the stairs until he got to the study he flung the door open and there was no one. He went to the bedroom, this time, he knew he was going to find her…. alive or dead.

He held his breathe and opened the door. There was Karen. She was on the floor, her little hands sprinkled with blood, her light blue tank top drenched in red. But she was alive, she was crouched on the floor shaking, a gun in her hands. She looked up to Will for consolation and he fell to her side. "Are you okay?" he said reaching for her hand, not caring about the blood, her hands shook and he clenched them.

"Where are you hurt?" he asked. She sobbed and looked over to the bed. Will stood up and there was Stanley Walker, with a bullet in his head and blood running down his forehead. Will was in shock. Karen cried on the floor, Will looked down next to Karen and saw the gun. It was all coming together now. Will gazed at the once flawless sheets that him and Karen had made love on, and they were full of blood. Karen stood up and put her arm around Will's waste, she was still trembling.

The wind blew and Karen's hair brushed against Will, the canopy blew and Will glanced at Karen who looked like an angel. The blood was the only color Karen could see, the rest was black and white, and then she looked up at Will and he let her kiss his lips and what had been Will's worst nightmare was Karen's dream.

Will wasn't sure why… but he smiled. Will looked at Karen who appeared to be a blood spattered angel. Karen looked to Will, who was the real angel…he had saved her, saved her from it all and she kissed his lips.

_**It's really good to hear your voice saying my name **_

_**It sounds so sweet **_

_**Coming from the lips of an angel **_

_**Hearing those words it makes me weak **_

**_With the lips of an angel_**

**Hinder lyrics-lips of an angel**

**HEY GUYS THAT'S MY STORY I HOPED YOU ALL LIKE IT!! LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU ALL THINK OF THE ENDING AND THANKS TO ALL OF YOU GUSY WHO HAVE REVIEWED SO FAR IT MEANT A LOT TO ME!! MAKE SURE YOU'RE LOOKING AROUND FOR MY PENNAME, I ALREADY HAVE A FEW IDEAS UP MY SLEEVE!!**


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